I'm caving in

Monday, 19th of September. I not only did the direct route to Dublin, I did it by train. Saturday was once again just a rainy day and I wasn't in the mood to go out and cycle. Wherefore? Sean, Anne's boyfriend, had agreed to host me, Anne was happily in Dublin, too, at the moment, and we arranged to meet in an Irish club where they wanted to go to this evening.

When I wanted to buy my ticket the woman on the counter referred me to the train people to asked if I could take my bike with me. First they weren't so sure but then they agreed. Going by train isn't so popular in Ireland, most people are using the buses. There are not that much routes, and also the usage differs from the way it is in Germany, it's much more relaxed but also seems to be much less organized.

I liked the train ride. A new facet of my Ireland image. But all over Ireland the same boring weather. When I arrived in Dublin I tried to open my perception for this place, and actually it was a little like an interesting new experience – big colourful lights, night life, maybe somehow unique… I had some optimism, and it was fun to navigate through the city centre to find the club where I would meet Anne and Sean. Club Conradh na Gaeilge is a non-governmental organisation that promotes the Irish language in Ireland and abroad – so Sean taught me how to order my guinness in Irish (but I can't remember the spelling anymore…). I had a little faith by seeing Anne again, but was also fragile inside of me. When I'm in this mood I need lots of affirmation that people really like me and mean it. Otherwise I feel bound to act self confident, to show I'm an interesting person, who is worth the time to spend with and no boring burden. And Anne and Sean were very friendly but also busy. And then I'm not so sure if people just try to be nice but not really care.

On Sunday I once again cycled the ten kilometres up to the city centre but felt so lonely I wasn't able to motivate myself to do some touristic or cultural stuff. Dublin is so loud, so much people, so much traffic (this day lots of people on the street were celebrating because some sports team had won some game), and I was so small and lost. For the first time on my tour I really missed Klaus, because there was no reason to discover this town without him. I went to an Internet café that also gave me a bad feeling about being impersonal and not trustful and secure because of the suggestion to lock the rucksack. This was the time when the crying started. I couldn't stand it, couldn't control it, It was just losing all cohesion. I tried to find something to hold on to, but in the end there was just crying and this complete caving in. I cycled back to Sean's place, when another rain caught me. But those things couldn't get me down, I felt so lost and without any faith, so it didn't matter or was just fitting.

When I was back, Sean asked if I wasn't okay, so my small ability to buck up got lost again. My only idea how to help myself was to take the next train up to Tramore, as this place was the closest to home I could get in the moment. Sean wasn't reserved when I couldn't hold back tears and tried to say helpful things – that I surely miss my boyfriend, that I'm probably homesick, what actually isn't wrong but when you are so much caving in those statements can't really help. I needed to stay with friends where I could be sure it would be okay to burden them with myself. And I couldn't imagine it could be fun for Sean to have me around crying all the time because I feel so lost and don't know how to go on with my life. So I packed my stuff. When saying good bye Sean seemed to be really concerned. He regret we didn't spend more time together to get to know each other and do some music together. And then he gave me a long and warm hug. This felt so good. Maybe I could have had some more trust. But going to a place where I could be sure to feel comfortable felt much more safer.

During this train ride the crying came over me from time to time, but changed it's character. It wasn't no longer just feeling lonely and homesick but much more about feeling helpless and desperate about still don't know how to go on with my life. Am I a loser if I can't stand society's rules? What makes oneself a worthwhile person? Am I bad and selfish if I just produce this feelings that I can't stand it anymore? Isn't it just handy to wallow in self-pity about my suffering and just feel to ill as I would be able to do what all people have to do? It's all gridlocked and I can't figure out these conflicts. Why can't I be different? Maybe I use my feelings to manipulate others, so if I would be an worthwhile person I would just feel different. I don't want to fulfil any demand anymore. But a worthwhile person would just be able not to think about these things as demands.

When I left the train a woman wished me good luck on my trip home which felt good. Night cycling the ten or fifteen kilometres up to Tramore was nice, so in the end I cycled nearly 50 kilometres this day. This evening I realized for the first time that the days have become significant shorter – it was dark when I get on my bike at 8 P.M. So once again: Maybe it's also not the best time for cycling. And I still don't have to. I'm looking forward to come back home. And cycling through France could be nice, I think I will give it a try. But first I will stay with Patti and Mark and have some good talks like we started to do yesterday. It's not that I'm unhappy. I just don't know how to change live and become satisfied. And it doesn't help that I'm so annoyed about myself and think I'm putting myself much to center-stage.

Ireland sucks

Saturday, 17th of September. Once again: Rain, clouds, wind – it looses all its fun. So I'm changing plans again: I will not cycle the North of Ireland and Northern Ireland. My last vision is Dublin, where it shouldn't matter if it's raining or not, because there I will be just a visitor doing sightseeing – and then it's only two more stages until I will see my first Irish hosts and friends Patty and Mark again, with whom I will spend my last days in Ireland.

Yesterday started good. Some short rain shower shortly after leaving Castlebar (so once again a stop to put on the rain protection and then take off after ten minutes, but without the changing I would have been soaked). Then nice sun for maybe two hours. Fast and easy cycling for the first 50 kilometres. The area of Lough Conn is just great, but when I left it became cloudy and also some misty rain started from time to time. It also becomes autumn, what normally would be good, but if it means this bad weather, it isn't.

Cycling the N 59 from Ballina up to Sligo was definitely the wrong idea. Road and landscape are just boring – just a straight way with continuous ups and downs. And I don't realize an uphill, I'm just thinking: "Oh I'm not that fast, seems I'm more in a comfortable mood right now", and when it goes downhill I become clear. But it's nothing nice about this. Give me winding roads in interesting landscape, and I don't care about if it's hilly!

I had an acceptance for hosting me in Sligo, but no contact details – neither an address nor a phone number, so I hoped for a couchsurfing message when I arrived in Sligo, what I did after 110 kilometres at 5 P.M., but no message. I thought about going on after some warm food. but after being on the N 15 for two kilometres without any chance to cross a nice pub or restaurant, I decided to return – I definitely wouldn't cycle this disgusting road! And while thinking so I also didn't see any usage for going on to the North. And the fact, that I didn't had any contact details of my host in Ballylifllin confirmed my resolution.

So at least I found a good place to eat in Sligo and to think about how to go on. I felt really frustrated. Not about power. Not about no cycling anymore. It's just that I don't like it here at all. I don't feel comfortable. So I don't have to stay here. But nevertheless I could have cried. The nice woman in the Café Society helped me a lot when let me use her private internet access and also her phone and actually helped me to guide Kate, my host in Sligo (who meanwhile had answered again, so mow a I had a mobile number), to her place – Kate was so lovely to pick me up (I felt really lost in this town, I'm too sensitive to traffic and crowd). So it wasn't that easy but after some trouble we met.

Sligo has lot's of traffic, all in a one way street system… I don't feel comfortable in all these towns, Limerick doesn't seem so unusual at all. I love these small villages with all these colourful little shops, but not the towns. I don't know if it's because of the weather or the North – maybe people are different here. Maybe I have to much insight in people's daily routine and can't see any beauty in it any longer. Maybe people told me to much about the real Irish, what just means their experiences as a foreigner in this country. I don't know. At the moment I'm looking much more forward to cycle France.

Limerick

Tuesday, 6th of September. This whole place Tarbert seems to go south. Lots of shops are closed but don't say anything about this fact. They look just like normal shops from outside. Most traffic comes from the crossing vehicles which are only passing through. I was still looking for an internet connection – no chance in this village, although there had been an internet café some time before (even some of the locals didn't know it was closed). The friendly woman in the pharmacy gave me the advise to go to Glin, because there in the library would be a internet computer for free, so I started to cycle six kilometres in the direction of Limerick – and what nice people I found there! This library is just lovely. A small old stone built house, and inside mainly just one open room, some books and games (probably less books as we have at our home, and definitely less games…) and two nice computers. The friendly librarian was so broad-minded to my needs and so interested in my touring and blogging, it was such a nice and warm atmosphere and it was fun to talk a while. Many thanks!

Meanwhile Kate and Dave had send their address data. When the library closed at 2 P.M. I started speed cycling up to Limerick – I had an average of 24,3 km/h from the moment I started cycling this day until I reached Limerick (nearly 60 kilometres). During the cycling I wondered why I felt so very warm, and then I realized the sun had shown up again! This day was still a mixture of clouds, rain and sun, but it's so exhilarant when its clear, warm and bright. And I even had following wind from time to time.

I arrived early at Kate's and Dave's home. Kate was doing her home made felt clothes and accessory. She is a freelancer and all around the house you can see lots of different pieces in varied designs. While she went on working, Dave showed me around the town – Limerick by night. As a real cyclist I tried to turn on my light, as we left the house… (whithout having a bycicle between my legs, I bent forward to activate the dynamo —does anyone remember The third policeman by Flan O'Brian?)

Dave knows a lot about history stuff, but for me the contemporary image of this town was much more interesting. I wasn't so sure about if it would be worth it to come to this place. Some people said it's uninteresting, others (non locals) liked it. The reputation of this town isn't so good (mainly caused by some trouble in the 80's). Now I'm glad about deciding to come to Limerick, because it's not so typical (or what I would call typical from my previous experience). Its character seems to be much more used and industrial. And inside of this some very old churches and castles…

Dave and I ended up in a nice pub (their local), where to my big surprise he ordered a German wheat beer. He definitely has to come to Bamberg and taste all our local wheat beers, which are so much better then all these industrial beers from the big companies. I went on trying new brands of stout. We had some good talk about profession, contentedness, self-fulfillment and the need for sabbaticals. We found some parallels between our relationships in the fact that one can give the other one the freedom to be creative without financial bounds. My head and my heart are still mulling over what I like or want to do or to be or don't like or want to do or to be… Moments of insight and scruple take turns.

I also spend one day resting. Doing some improvements on the bike, install the new light and so on. Because of some troubles with the electricity a very nice electrician was in Kate's and Dave's house who gave me some useful material to make the grips softer. All at all just nice and relaxing. Nevertheless it was once again 4 A.M. when I ended writing and working on the computer…

How to go on?

Monday, 5th of September. I spent a nice and exhilarant evening with Ciaran. He seemed to be full of energy (which acted steering at me), open and friendly and an interesting personality although he was very tired and busy at the same time. It's a pity we didn't had more time for talking and maybe do some outdoor activities together. But we had to say goodbye the next morning, and because the ferry to Skellig Michael Monastery didn't go (they said they would start to think about crossing the sea not before Friday and this day it was Monday) I went on cycling the coast on the Ring of Kerry.

It was still cloudy and misty but no rain for the first 17 kilometres, then regularly changes between misty rain, normal rain and no rain and all possible combinations of these types. Originally I had planed to cycle the Dingle peninsula, but with all this rain and mist where one is not able to see anything in some distance I cancelled this plan.

I generally wasn't so sure about where to go to this day and especially where to stay this night. At the moment it's difficult to find hosts, it happens often that I don't get a response, and it's not so easy to plan the stages, too. Some days before I had got an answer from my first unspecific request I had sent when I was still in Margate, so I had a general couch offer in Limerick, but Kate and Dave hadn't answered if they would be okay with my concrete time schedule and I also had no contact information. So I decided to cycle up to Tarbert, where from a ferry shorten the way up to the Cliffs of Moher. When being there I could still decide where to go to next.


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In Killorglin I found an Aldi supermarket but had to learn that the range of items differs a lot from what I knew from Germany, but I found a great black long sleeved compression sports underwear shirt, that now I'm wearing most of the time – it's unbelievable how warm and dry this peace of clothing is keeping me. In a 2 € shop I bought a nice little torch, and I also visited a friendly bicycle shop and bought new handle grips and some battery-driven lights. Once again I cycled a hill (the Slieve Mish Mountains – I really like it when the uphill I have cycled has a name…) without really noticing before reaching the top. I crossed Tralee and Listowel, it became dark, it was still or once again raining, it was cold, but I in my functional clothing and rain protection felt warm and comfortable. The wind was okay today, but I still have some respect for suddenly appearing squalls…

When arriving in Tarbert I first looked for the ferry – I had decided to cross the Shannon if still one would go this day, but it didn't, so I looked for a Bed & Breakfast and found an interesting so called Hotel/B&B which has ended up as a scruffy hostel, where I payed 15 € for the night and stayed with three other girls in a six bed room. When the hostel warden opened the door she first had a “What can I do for you?”-smile on her face which stopped immediately when she saw me within my wet clothes – then she hurried to bring me into the house and cared about drying my rain clothes (after three days of rain drying my clothes becomes a serious problem, but up to now I managed to have them dry enough).

Borderline experiences on the Ring of Kerry

Sunday, 4th of September. Today's stage started with bright sunshine. Close before Kenmare one can see this nice waterfalls, which are leastwise partly man-made, but nevertheless (or maybe therefore) very nice.

I had been in Kenmare the day before, too. After the Crossroad Music Session Dean, a friend of him and I had been there, visiting a music shop, where a very nice guy not only repaired the peg of my guitar, he also optimized my strings and the bridge – and all for free. He seemed to be a very impassioned musician and it was fun to see him working with an instrument. Many thanks to Soundz of Muzic!

I also was familiar with the first ten Ring of Kerry kilometres from yesterday's Crossroad Music Session (even though you can't compare a car ride with cycling…), but up to Tahilla I had no idea why everybody is saying one have to see the Ring of Kerry. But then it became very interesting, and when I first reached the open sea (if you can say so) again, it was just great force of nature – stormy, powerful breaker, and then big rain started (all together a very atmospherical composition, my compliments to nature). The rain was much intense but ended after about 15 minutes and the sun dried my clothes pretty fast. Forget whatever I've said about all weathers days in the past – this was before I was familiar with the Irish weather. During the stage from Oxford up to Mitcheldean surely there were all kinds of weather, but one after another and evenly spread about the whole day. In Ireland the weather can change within minutes. After the big rain and the sunshine I had misty rain with clouds, sunshine with rain, rain with calms, storm with sunshine… But in the end the weather decided to be cloudy, rainy and very stormy (but no photo can show).

From Saneem, which seems to be a very touristic place (much sightseeing buses were standing there and also much people were on the street despite the bad weather), up to Castlecove, where to have a break for some salted food I had decided, it was pretty exertive to cycle within all these intense rain and it also became quite hilly so I celebrated every completed half of the last five kilometres to motivate myself – it wasn't that much about being exhausted but you have to have faith within this landscape. The friendly woman at An Siopa Dubh had nothing warm to eat but she offered to prepare a sandwich for me, which also helped.

Sometimes the rain stopped for a while, sometimes I even recognized this, sometimes I didn't recognize the rain had started again. One can become very stoic. There was also constantly uphill what I didn't really noticed within all this wind and all this rain who pattered not only on me but into my face while I was doing my cycling routine. From Cathair Dónall up to the highest point of Ring of Kerry the storm was so extreme, especially when the winding road met the open coast side! It was really hard to keep the faith, all this storm attacks just felt like if someone tries to distress you, to put you down by pushing you around again and again. I wasn't so sure about how to act with this phenomenon. It's not a thing where one can say just stop fighting it – the storm doesn't care about it. Close to the highest point of Ring of Kerry it blew me from my bike – one heavy squall came and pushed me to the left, but I could stave off and by doing so or maybe doing a little bit to much the squall caught me again, this time to the other side, and knocked me and my bike over. I'm not really sure what happened, in the end my bike was laying on the side with its front in opponent direction and I was lying on my back. Nothing happened to me, I just hurried to put my bike and all my stuff that loosened from the bike away from the street. Fortunately there was no traffic at this moment, otherwise it would have been really dangerous. One car, which had passed me immediately before, had stopped in some distance, but when the driver saw I seemed to be okay he went on.


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After this I once was sitting next to the street and crying. You feel so helpless because it's nothing what's within your powers. I wasn't exhausted, you can't say I was unalert or did some other mistake (beside cycling within this weather), the storm was just so much more powerful than I. After a while I went on, pushing the bike carefully, and after the next turn not only I was outside the stormy area I also reached the top, and from now on I rolled downhill, but extremely carefully and totally aware of this life-threatening situation. Now my bike has some more scratches, the Ganesha clinger, whom I had tied on my handle bar extension, peeled away, but I found it on the street.

Down in Waterville maybe five kilometres later I had a break and found a nice hostel and also much nicer backpackers. I was full of energy and had some nice chit-chat, two hot chocolates with marshmallows (my first time), some chips for free because one guy attained them for unravel a mystery (he will study philosophy and mechanical engineering – I love this combination…). And then I went back outside to cycle, full of positive energy while all the others were so happy to be inside a warm, protected house. I just felt fine.

Waterville isn't that cosy as most of the other Irish towns and places I have seen so far, especially not on such a rainy and stormy day, but a real bleakly seaside town, affronting the elements. Meanwhile it went dark and I had some problems with my front light which works a little bit irregular (my back light seem to work not at all). Shortly after my speedo computer went mad by showing no speed or the wrong speed (and sometimes the right speed, but one can't trust). This is a thing what really frustrated and concerned me, it undercuts my inner balance. Surely the display of the completed kilometres is sometimes important for orientation, for example when you have to catch a side road in a special distance, but what concerned me much more was the fact that my cycling doesn't seem to count if it's not measured. It galls me that this effects me so much. (After a while my speedo computer seemed to be okay again, but I couldn't see that much, too.)

To find my tonight's host Ciaran I had to take a cross road one or two kilometres before Cahersiveen. But with more and more darkness surrounding it's not that easy to read the signs – once again I missed having a torch. So I was standing at one cross road and tried to read my map by using the crossing cars' headlight. When one car slowed down to turn off I signed them to stop so I could asked for some help and in the end the car driver offered me a lift. Today's stage had 80 kilometres.

Some amazing perceptions of nature

Friday, 2nd of September. It was 1:30 P.M. when I left the boat. Easy cycling like every day, good to be on the road again. While being on my way, a car passed, and outside the backmost window Marek smiled at and waved to me. Funny coincidence to see him again. Today's stage was planed with 75 kilometres and ended up with 105 kilometres, because I missed a sign in Ballydehob and didn't realize this until I asked someone in Schull (there's a kink on my map, so this Schull area was on the back side which I couldn't see because I had thought to be in the other side's area). But I didn't want to turn back, especially because I liked the place I was now and wanted to go on – who matter's about kilometres? In the end I was so glad I made a detour because it was such a great landscape, such a lovely road, just so nice and exhilarant. After 70 kilometres I had a short break in Bantry, and then the other great part of this day's journey began.

It had been cloudy the hole day with some sunshine from time to time, some wind – just nature. Then some drizzling rain started, but so misty – such thing doesn't feel like rain, it's just refreshing. If this is the famous Irish rain, then I love it. I decided not to dress more rain protection than my raincoat, which was generally a good idea, you definitely don't need rain pants – but I had to learn this day that anyway you need some protection for the shoes (and maybe another warm jacket)… Cycling the coast between Ballylickey and Glengarriff was just great outlook, all these colours and structure within the hazy environment – just great. Then the very hilly part of this day's stage started, as I cycled the Caha Mountains. I was on my own, nearly no passing cars, I wasn't able to see anything in some distance because of all this haze. And shortly after I also couldn't see that much because it went dark.

It went pretty cold, but with the misty rain outside, which had become heavier meanwhile, and the sweating inside I didn't want to stop and grub deep in one of my bags, I just tried to stay warm by going on with fast cycling. When the road finally got downhill, I cycled through an amazing tunnel, just a hole in the hill with all these surrounding mountain stones. And my bike light illuminated the scene. Fast downhill through the rainy night, I felt colder and colder, but finally I reached Dean's house, that wasn't easy to find in the darkness. There I had a bath, but it took some time until I felt some warmth inside of me again. But what an amazing day.

PS:
I had my first little accident today, if you can say so. I failed the asphalt road, so my wheel touched the ground next to the road, so I lost balance when trying to put something out of my little handle bar bag. But I had only 10 or 15 km/h, so nothing happened apart from my bike turned over and the handle bar was twisted (and I now have a bruise).

Last stage and last night in Great Britain

Wednesday, 24th of August. I started in Llangadog with sunshine at 9 A.M., but this sunshine was just at Jane's place and resumed in the region I cycled yesterday, but in the direction I had to cycle now it was overclouded – big, dark and heaving clouds all over there. And you know you have no chance to escape from that…

First I crossed Llandeilo, a nice little town which is placed around a hill – it starts at the hill's bottom and it ends at the bottom on the other side of this hill. And I had the pleasure to cycle this twice, because I overlooked my route branched off immediate at the boundaries. Shortly after that I reached the rain. And what a rain. It rained cats and dogs. And it was extremely cold, too, so for the first time during my tour I needed an extra pullover. It rained really bad. Rain from above (as usual), rain from the side (especially when cars passed), rain from below (because the streets had turned into lakes). Occasionally I thought about hitchhiking, but otherwise this wasn't the best route to do so (once again good ole A40) and also there was no place to stay and ask some truckers. I cycled one hour through this extreme, intensive rain, then another half an hour just through usual rain. Close to Carmarthen the rain stopped and some shafts of sunlight showed up. And in Carmarthen I suddenly realized that I was no longer able to cycle with usual speed. I haven't noticed before this had been really exhausting.

So I had a break and my first fish and chips – and now I finally know, what this actually is. When I was young I imagined it as something like French fries with kind of fish fingers or fish nuggets, served in a paper cone (which is a practice I couldn't understand. In Belgium fries were originally served in a paper cone, but now this changes. Bart told me the paper cone thing was the best, because the grease can accumulate at the bottom). Later I didn't thought about it any more, so I never looked up. My fish and chips looked like these you can see in the photo, but were served on a plate together with different packed sauces.

Then cycling went on and the weather was okay now. The route wasn't as interesting as the day before and it wasn't that hilly, so much more cycling to reach today's goal, the coast. All in all I cycled 125 kilometres this day, and I made a new speed record: 64.5km/h. In the afternoon the weather became really sunny. I had a nice break at a quiet resting place, the lady in a take-away van had closed, but anyway she sold me a cappuccino, we had a nice chat about my tour, and she donated me a small pack of this delicious Welsh cakes. I had a really nice break while sitting in the sun and feeling good.

While approaching the coast I felt exited – so close to the sea, so close to Ireland. The last 20 or 30 kilometres it was once again very hilly – so once again the landscape became very interesting – and I looked forward to see the sea which maybe would appear behind every lift. And then it did.

Fishguard is great, lovely, a real seaside town. First I crossed the town to have a look at the ferry harbour and see how it works. Then I looked for a place to sleep and found a lovely old hotel, that was run by an older lady (Cartref Hotel). Very fair price and even a small water boiler next to a box including some tea bags plus sugar and milk packages in my room – I suppose other guests usually don't use them as much as I did… Later I tasted a Horlicks malt, what seems to be very popular especially in Wales as a night drink (I don't know why). I also went out to enjoy the coast, the town and the sundown and had a tasty Welsh stout and a nice little meal in a pub, where they gave me a wooden spoon so the waiter could find my table.

PS:
Meanwhile I have learned Cartref is Welsh and means home…

An all weathers day

Sunday, 21th of August. Yesterday I cycled 100 kilometres from Oxford up to Mitcheldean, that is close to Wales. It was an exhausting day, so today I stay for an extra day at my couchsurfing host's place, where a garden party will happen today. Deborah is preparing all the food while I am writing my blog on her computer (but I will also help her after writing…). It's just great here – great nature, great outlook, great garden and very great house with lots of personal design to discover.

I had an all weathers yesterday. It started with sunshine, so I was able to navigate by position of the sun (what I did also when I left London – and I did it pretty well!), then it went to be very cloudy and windy. I cycled A roads most of the day, which were really nice most of the time (mostly A40 road, then A436 when it splits up, and from Gloucester once again the A40 road. Then the very hilly part of that day's stage began when cycling the A4136 road).

Since I had left Oxford (and surely inside Oxford, too) in his area the people had (and of course still have) real stones at one's disposal to build houses. Therefore the main colour of the houses is a mixture of beige, ochre, grey and white. Very convenient. Once I cycled past a church with a sign in the front garden. While reading "an open meeting to discuss the future" I stopped, because it's a great idea and highly fascinating, to discuss the future (especially in a church). When reading the rest of the sign, it was only – but still – interesting, because it offers an insight into the actual proceedings.

I was in a bad mood during forenoon. Once again having no idea why am I doing this. Now it's kind of boring, just routine and somehow futile. Maybe this is normal change while doing long-run cycling. I didn't cycle more than two weeks without interruption before. But I also have a feeling of futile in general, about don't want to have any responsibilities at all and just doing nothing (especially no work). Then I think about quitting the tour. Otherwise I'm close to Ireland now, which is the main reason for this tour, and doing the French part of the tour will mean just going home. But I feel more and more depressed and desperate (close to cry while writing this). I am afraid about this, because I'm not able to classify.

It rained two times yesterday. But when I cycled the A4136 road the sun came out and also with the hilly landscape the route went to be much more challenging. This all together gave me a good feeling (good to know the surrounding can have such influence). When I claimed the main up-hill, the street stayed at this altitude while still doing some up and downs – and the outlook was just fantastic. And I had two great downhills with more than 60km/h (so now I have a new record with 62.4km/h). Then once again the rain came and at this time I was pretty exhausted. After five more kilometres I arrived at the lovely house of Deborah's.

It was a nice, relaxed evening. I tasted self made chocolate chilli ice-cream (the mild version), which was very interesting and the best chocolate ice I ever had. I went early to bed and slept quite long. Today it's a sunny day and I'm looking forward to see more of the surrounding area, to spend time with Deborah and meet new people at the garden party – once again I think it is good to have the guitar with me.

Deborah is very spirited, always laughing, she's – like me – so attached to little details to prettify the environment and to make the world a place where you can discover surprising, beautiful, interesting and special things all the time. It's good to be here.

PS:
I feel homesick and homeless and I really would need a long time hug and the possibility to cry while laying in ones arms.

PPS:
The garden party was very nice. Had some good talks and met much lovely people…

London Calling

Thursday, 17th of August. Being in London. I arrived at Sunday (Monday), 15th August, 2 A.M. and will leave tomorrow morning, Friday, 18th August. Worth it all the time.

After staying at Dagnis' and Dagmara's place on the first day to have a long sleep, to do some computer stuff and just to relax, I went to Inner London, but after the first four kilometres the old tyre hole break up again. So I switched to public traffic. (I like the tube of London. It's placed so deep under the town…) Later I brought my bike back home and as I had to carry the bike's front it was pretty exhausting – one of the moments where I'm not totally glad about having a steel frame… Dagnis was so glad about being allowed to fix my bike, as he loves to do mechanical things but normally don't has the opportunity to do it. He was sad when he wasn't able to find something to repair.

To be a pedestrian in Inner London is great. Now there are lots of signs, and you are moving like one flow. Nobody waits longer then necessary at a traffic light, the green and red signs are much more an offer and there's no singled person who suddenly crosses the road, it's a great working mass communication. And nobody is disturbed or mad about this traffic light usage. And all these people, even if they move fast without any waiting, are still very friendly. Whenever I asked one of them for an information, same thing happened: If they didn't knew the answer they themselves asked another person, to be able to tell me instead of sending me to the other guy…

I like this town, I wouldn't have thought this could happen, as I had give a damn about London while planning my route. I just thought, it's on my way, so it would be weird not to see and to stay for a while. But it's just great. Nice atmosphere, much structure. London just has style. So great colours, the red buses (that sadly are no longer this originally old ones), all these colourful alternative markets, somehow flower power is still alive. And another funny thing: I start to think, I become able to understand English movies much better – right now I'm in such a movie. It's easy for me to discover unusual sights and details – so I hope the photo I took from Picadilly Circus isn't that much touristy.

Camden, where Dagnis and Dagmara are living, was definitely the right choice, especially for this Stable's Market (and also Camden High Street)! I get an idea what aspects of old Passerelle in Hannover I miss so much, where now there is no longer a Passerelle but a Niki-de-Saint-Phalle-Promenade. I feel pretty good in this town, this country. (But sometimes this feeling pops up about having no – reachable – home. Then I start to loose balance – that’s kind of scary.)

Everywhere in London you can see the the promotion for Conan the barbarian remake. I have no idea, why there has to be a remake as the old one still works very well and is also that much connected to young Arnold Schwarzenegger. They even don’t mention the name of new Conan. But it's in 3D.

The other day I really cycled through London, a totally different experience, pretty hard to have some orientation plus extreme much traffic, so much vehicles, and all this standing still while waiting for green traffic light. There are not so much cyclists in London traffic, but those who are there most of them have a racing bike. And we all cycle fairly risky, but nobody cares about that. In Germany they would constantly tot and shout at you how dare you to do such things (and I think it's mainly this reaction what makes the situation much more dangerous).

This day I visited Hyde Park, Regent’s Park and Notting Hill with its
lovely Portobello Road. And I also saw this Traveller's Bookshop which was archetype for the cute Hugh Grant's shop in the movie Notting Hill. Another place I visit because of a movie. (Did I mention that in Brugge there’s a guy who offers In Bruges guiding tours?) Meanwhile I have a pretty good idea of some area's map (and I am also totally used to cycling left hand for quite a while. Now I can’t understand why I had such weird feelings the first time). In Regent’s Park I got the first free hug in my life! A boy and a girl were running around calling out crossing people if anybody would like to have a free hug. Older people normally ignored that or went away, but I was so glad about – both of them were affected I get off the bike.

Staying with Dagnis and Dagmara was just great. All the days we had interesting talk about relationship and love attachment and also other stuff or we just relaxed together while sharing some thoughts sometimes. I gave some juggling lesson and we made some great music, really good playing on my guitar so both were really hooked, they danced, they made some rhythm and other escorting sounds, they even sang although both of them claimed they are not able to sing before – and it sounded fantastic. Just great atmosphere, cosy and intensely. Dagnis and Dagmara are such a lovely, warm, cute and attractive couple.

Last words:

• …Who said London would be expensive? Things I normally buy have same price or are cheaper as in Germany.
• …Since Tuesday my guitar is once again a six string guitar. It's an interesting sound when played. Different but good. Just after this all time playing the last few days my fingertips start to hurt.
• When I visited London (Hyde Park, Notting Hill, Regent's Park) I cycled 42 kilometres, and I also reached the 1.000 kilometres survey point
• …All over this country there are so many old two-coloured VW-busses (V1 and V2) still driving, that’s so nice! Some of them are so old, they actually have a splited front shield.
• …Just for the statistics. Yesterday evening some rain felt down – the first time I saw rain in whole England. Today is just a rainy day. Main reason, why I'm still here.

An addition related to Martin's commentary

Germany, the Netherlands and Belgium

Friday, 5th of August. I took the countryside highway for the most of the time up to Geilenkirchen, and I had lots of wind. Slowly I realized that there could be a connection between this and all these windmills in the Netherlands… In Geilenkirchen I had a break and annoyed a saleswoman in a butcher shop as I bought just one slice of salami, which I needed for my cheese roll. In this town you can't be sure if you met a German person or one from the Netherlands, it's a mixed up chatter on the streets, while it's very close to the frontier. Up from North Rhine-Westphalia the house building style had changed, as in the Netherlands, too, they are all brick build, typical for all areas were they don't have rocks. The river Wurm crosses town where it's leaded below the town.

Now I navigated by a point of intersection based bicycle route system, which is also used in the Netherlands. So I left Germany while using nice little roads without traffic inside a beautiful landscape. Because Octavian, my today's couchsurfing host in Sittard, had still to work, I cycled criss-cross through nice little villages and nature – 25 kilometres extra, just for fun! So today's stage ended after 95 kilometres.

As I arrived in Sittard and tried to orient myself to find out how to reach Octavians home, I discovered I was just standing at the corner where his street branched off – I was so exited about that! Easy to find the house, difficult to ring the doorbell, because there wasn't a doorbell panel, but a little computer terminal. With the help of a local person I figured out how to use this. Since today I have to communicate in English.

Octavian was very nice and friendly. First thing we did yet before starting real conversation was juggling together. He is a settled character, but also very social, interested in a variety of things and with deep thoughts about many things. His flat is in a house where many young people from all over the world are living for a period. It's a very agile atmosphere, someone is knocking at the door and comes for a short visit at all hours (some people leave their door always ajar). Lotte and Lilly, I would be glad to hear from you!

Next day we visited an exhibition. Museum Het Domein Sittard showed the photographer Roger Ballen. Interesting to discuss his work. I like his earlier work from the 80's, but all in all he's much to manipulative and straining after effect. I found a poster of Bamberg (old town hall and dome) at one of his photos which was shot in a flat in Africa! After museum we went to historic town centre, eating outside and had much nice conversation. I put one's foot into one's mouth when I asked for the change when I bought cyclist's sunglasses. It was 19.99 Euro but the seller wanted 20 which irritated me so much that I asked for the left cent. Octavian later explained to me, that it's very common in the Netherlands to round up – nobody cares about just one cent! (Me, too! But I was too surprised to ignore. Worst of all the seller searched ages for the cent and in the end because he couldn't found one he gave me a two cent coin.)

Unfortunately my guitar has a damage. I think it was a good idea to buy a rejected one for my tour… I'm still able to play, while turning the pin back to the original position, so it doesn't really matter.

I left Octavian at 6 P.M. because he had to do some work and my legs were so nervous. I had planed the next stage from Sittard up to Antwerp with 125 kilometres and had learned this would mean around 140 kilometres, so I was glad to be able to cycle a fare stage. I was really fast! I just had to cycle! (I do no longer care about average speed, because it depends so much on landscape structure, weather and if it's easy to find the route, but I'm really glad when I'm able to fly away…) I cycled through Susteren (NL), Masseik (B) and Bree. From 9 P.M. on I was looking for a place to sleep, I asked some villagers if I could stay at their roofed veranda, as I did more than ten years ago in Denmark, but there was no chance. In Denmark I never had problems with that and was always invited to sleep in a barn, a garage or a bower and sometimes even to share meal.

Some rain had started. In Peer there was a kind of street festival, bands were playing on truck's load floors, so there was nice music, great atmosphere, many people outside – and even a hotel! But it looked so unappealing, impersonal, way to stylish and at least expensive, that I decided to go on cycling – maugre the rain and the fact it had gotten dark. So I cycled through the night, wearing my rain gear (now I can say I am equipped perfectly) and reached Leopoldsburg after 60 kilometres, where I found a much more cosy hotel/restaurant/bar, with such a kind steward, who helped me with my stuff and even warmed up my half pizza, which was now presented like a real meal that I ate in my room, while watching some TV. It's so great to be in a country where's no dubbing!

From Hüttenstadt up to Germscheid – and once again a train part…

Wednesday, 3th of August. I left Susanne at 11 A.M. shortly before it started to rain, wherefore I had another stop to search for my rain clothes. Naturally the rain stopped at the moment I had done my rain clothes. But since it was still some cold I kept it on. My first goal for this day was Wetzlar because of its wonderful historic city centre. It's a straight road which leads to this small town. There was a bike path next to the street. My heart didn't misgave me, when the path left the road – bike paths do such things sometimes, perhaps when the street planers don't want you to cycle upon a hill. This path was really winding and went on to veer away from the road. But I went on, because the landscape was so nice and I trusted in the fact that the path had to lead to somewhere.

After maybe one kilometre with slight down-grade the bike path mutated into a path of asphalt tile, then into a cart track, then into a muddy cart track, then into a muddy seldom used upward cart track … I started to push my bike, but I was still curious. Finally the so-called path ended as a overgrown thing, but at this time I could fortunately hear the cars riding on the road. The last maybe 50 metres I unloaded my bike and carried first my stuff and than my bike across the forest. Altogether it took me two hours, but I was so proud of myself that I wasn't frustrated or something like that, but just able to handle the situation. I was completely all in a sweat. My spats had been very useful; otherwise my shoes and feet would have been totally wet, too. But my clothes had been really dirty from the mud.

The historic centre of Wetzlar is actually as nice and well worth seeing as Susanne had told me. It has a Dom with only one finished tower, then there hadn't been enough money to build the other one…

Best of all: now I followed a bike path along the Lahn river. I bought two bicycle tubes in a bicycle store, and as I started to answer the question whereto I'm cycling: "through Belgium and …" the mechanic cut me off saying: “Ah … – that kind of trip.” As I had some problems with my gearshift I asked if he could take a look and in the end he fixed it for free “to sponsor the trip”. Very much thanks to Armin from bykx Radstudio in Solms-Oberbiel! Cycling along the Lahn was just great. But sadly after 50 cycled kilometres I had to switch to train, when arriving in Weilburg at 6 A.M. – there was no later connection from another station available and otherwise I would have arrived in Germscheid eventually at midnight. Maybe it wasn't the worst decision, because shortly after it started to rain once again. This day I decided to send some of my stuff back home, so I took advantage of the time during the train ride to sort out. In Limburg I had to change trains – it seemed to be the wrong time for travelling with the bike … Once again I had to carry my bike.

Olli, my today's host, picked me up at Altenkirchen train station and we drove with his car to his home in Germscheid, Rhineland-Palatinate. (Once again: Thanks to him and also the other couchsurfing hosts who helped me so much with my tour.) Olli is a friendly and relaxed guy. After school he made a motor bicycle tour, which was planed as an one year trip up to Australia and ended up as a two year tour up to New Zealand. Then he started to breed Galloway cows. He commemorated Dave, a dear friend of mine, who is so open and tender but so hard to reach inside.

When we attained the 150 year old farm house in a small village at the edge of Westerwald there was a bonfire and some friends and neighbours who celebrated hay harvest with eating and drinking together. I felt so welcome and had a very nice evening with some chit-chat. And Olli has such a lovely outgoing young daughter! I have also to thank Olli for agreeing to send my stuff back home. Cheers!