Back to where I once belonged

Thursday, 1nd of September. Something very important has happened. First evidence was that I had no scruple or uneasiness or unease when Patti asked me to draw a seahorse on the bathroom door. It was just: Oh, yes, why not, sounds interesting… And also by doing the painting I just felt great like I used to do during my studies – just doing, no judgement. And also when Patti asked me about my opinion how to paint their living room and where to place some things it was just fun and having ideas and being able to explain some design concepts and how they work (psychology of perception, ambiance, rules about painting, colour, structure…) and just feeling that I rule them, I know how they work, and I flourished, I became more and more enthusiastic and then I realized I have skills, I'm gifted. Probably I'm loosing the bounds which held me the last years.

To me drawing is so much about seeing the world. I can see so much, I descry so much details, and by seeing like this, everything is meaningful, bunches out, is no longer just an item or a something in a room (and even this would be more as most people realize). I can't describe what hor how I perceive. It's just so intense, I am so fraught with this experience, it takes my breath away.

Right now I'm sitting on the deck of this boat, leaning onto the hatchway of my cabin (which is Marek's cabin he left to me), looking at this cove which is my home for the moment, listening to Van Morrison's Astral weeks album and other music I brought with me on my USB flash drive. My only problem is, that eventually it will become dark and time doesn't stand still.