Having a time out in Margate

Wednesday, 13th of August. Long sleeping. Allan was gone and would come home not so early. As he had some appointments this day I had the day for my own. A break and some strange feelings inside. I was pretty nervous during forenoon, out of centre, confused, tense. Close to cry and come apart at the seams. Did not really new what this implied or why it was happening. I decided to stay in the flat for once – I was not really interested in outside experiences or new impressions at all. But I wasn't really sure what would be the (so called) right thing to do. It was so hard to relax, to calm down, just to be. And I wasn't sure if this was a good sign (because I was realizing something I normally don't notice) or if it would have been better to go outside and be able to come over this feelings. I cried somewhat, just to let go. Then I felt better.

Some thoughts about the reason why I'm doing this. I had some good talks with some of my hosts (or friends of hosts) who were able to see behind the adventure part of my journey and therefore could see some parallels to their own life and desires. I met also a middle aged woman in North Rhine-Westphalia who asked with a mixture of incomprehension or lack of understanding and curiosity:"Und wozu dat janze?!" And asking for a goal is totally the wrong approach. I wanted to stay on my own. I wanted lo leave my usual life context. I even don't want to have an "usual life context" (will be continued).

I went to the library and got a internet computer guest account for one hour, then an extra hour and then an extra half hour – and all for free. My Ireland plans start to take shape – I think I will cycle the coast clockwise and end up in Dublin and then probably crossing the country up to ferry harbour close to Cork, all in all around 1.500 kilometres. No strict plan but a mental image. I have gotten some nice replies to my saying hello to the Irish world – hi there, I will come to Ireland and stay for about a month. If you would like to get to know me, I will come to your place. Please answer so that I can plan my route.

Then I took a walk along the coast. Here in Margate they have one of these small amusement parks which are popular at the English coast. To me this looks somehow strange – but no so weird as all these casinos with lots of slot machines and other vending machines and robots, I only knew from Terminator 2 or Tron. German amusement halls have a totally different character, and you have to be at least 18 years old to enter.

I had a great sundown sitting on a wall in front of Allans house and also doing some Tai chi. A special moment. I was really thrilled

When Allan came back, we visited a pub were live music is played and we came for this special band Allan is friend with. The Zen Bicycle Band, playing a "free form flowing stream of connectivity between three players". To me it sounded jazzy – and very, very good. Eventually the right moment to do some also jazzy sketches. Allan and I had an intensive talk about our understanding of friendship, and I also did some drawings, which were signed by the musicians – the liked my work.